Kosovo

Kosovo

Thursday, November 12, 2015

Home


God brings me many reminders as I talk to him in the mornings

 Home

That word weighs heavy in my mind often. That word. It’s a delicate word, a complicated word, a deep word, a lovely word and at times a difficult word. Home. I find my soul aching, longing, and searching for it. I work so hard to help my kids process this word as they go through seasons of missing “home”. Depending on the child home is a different place. I allow them to grieve and remind them that together we are “home”. I work very hard to stress this, to encourage this, to lift that little sadness that creeps into their hearts and minds from time to time. Don’t get me wrong, there’s plenty of joy and smiles here. God is good. He assures me and my family of that truth, often, always at a time when we need it. But there is a feeling, an anchoring, that is no longer ours.  If we go back to any place, time has not stayed frozen, and what was known, is not totally the same anymore. Being gone just 1 year from our first home and visiting displayed that. Familiar places closed down, friends moved, marriages happened, deaths happened, we missed out, and they in turn missed out on what we went through.  Not that the visits are not sweet, but the sense of belonging, of ownership, of familiar fades. Sometimes I find myself crying out in my heart “God, I just want to feel that feeling of familiar again, I want to feel home, I want my children to feel home. My heart hurts when they miss things or we can’t provide certain things because this land just doesn’t have it.” I struggle sometimes. But as I empty out my heart, I am reminded of verses that God speaks to us about home. And I can clearly hear His voice say to me “this land is not your home. That feeling is not for here anymore. One day though, one day you will have that again. One day.” And when I hear that and when I read that in His word, I cannot tell you how much comfort that He brings me. My little family has been blessed enough to know that we will not have that feeling of familiar or anchoring to any place on earth anymore. Is that hard? Yes at times it is. But there’s also a hope in it. I was talking to my youngest son, the other day, about Mother Teresa and he said, “How come I never met her?” and I said, “Honey she died a long time ago but man did she love Jesus and love people.” He said excitedly, “Hey I’ll get to meet her in heaven!” and I said, “you know what, we will get to meet her one day in heaven and it’s going to be awesome.”  Heaven, home. Heaven, home.  I feel like God has so much patience with me because only now, almost 30 years of loving Jesus, and the word heaven is finally bringing me child like excitement. I mean I feel excited, that I have a home waiting for me. There is a home waiting for all of us if we want it. That feeling of familiar, of feeling anchored, of feeling at true peace – for eternity. I guess missing home for now is like a breath when compared to forever. So when those hard days come, I hope I can remember that heaven is my home and I am just a stranger in these land, passing through till I get called home. Home.

Sunday, November 23, 2014

Taking time to be Thankful

As I've obviously been lacking in the writing department, I wanted to share a bit.  Nothing overly profound to share except that I find God is the one constant in my life no matter where on earth I live, no matter what time zone I'm in, and no matter if my day is good or hard. I realize when I feel distant it's usually because I've pulled away or haven't made time to spend time with my maker. He doesn't change and while we are in a season where things seem to only be changing, the very fact that He doesn't brings me much needed steadiness and hope. I'm also realizing the more time I take to think about what I'm thankful for, the more my heart changes, the more I can see past the fog that sometimes surrounds my mind. It's not a method or any gimmick. I just see that there's a reason we are told to count our blessings, to take time and see what we can be thankful. I see that it stills my anxious heart and mind and often fills me up with joy and hope. As we near Thanksgiving and Christmas, I find my heart missing family, missing friends, missing the comforts I've known since birth, and yet I want to say I'm so thankful. We've been blessed with a wonderful group of friends, both locals and internationals who love on us so well.  We also have an awesome Bible based church we are a part of and they are all just wonderful. We eat after church together and often get coffee afterward which makes for an all day event that we look forward too.  We are also hosts to one of the small home groups whom we look forward to seeing every week. We are even having our own Thanksgiving dinner with our group and one of our friends scored a Turkey so I'll be cooking up a turkey this year.  The language learning is going slow in our minds but we are blessed to live in an area where so many do speak a little English and we are more than able to get by.  We were able to get bacon close to where our friend lives this weekend and just ate some with eggs, toast and pancakes. God blessed us with tastes of home just when we were feeling homesick. Our kids love their friends and while they are honest when they feel homesick, thank God, they overall enjoy life here. Our baby is growing strong and kicking so so much.The doctor has checked twice and so far says we are having a Girl. The kids are thrilled.  Also, my friend and her mom, who use to be nurse, said they can go to the hospital with me when I go into labor so I can have people speak Albanian clearly with the nurses, which is one less thing I have to struggle through.  There's also wonderful news that one of our friends from our home church in California will be coming and will stay with us from January till mid-April. She will be working with one of our friends who works with the poor and marginalized. We are so excited and thrilled. We also have neighbors from Georgia who will be close by and are planning to visit late April for a few days which again is wonderful as the wife was like an extra grandma to our kiddos. This will be perfect timing as the three are adjusting to another life in the house and someone to compete for mommy's attention.  Our house stays warm which is a blessing as the air is definitely getting colder and while the fires are bothering my allergies, Sean's asthma is staying pretty controlled which I'm very thankful for.  So I guess my reason for writing is just to say we are thankful for friendships, friendships and relationships that span distance and time. We are thankful for the people God brings in our lives and we are thankful for each other. We are also so thankful for you. Here are some photos, well because who doesn't like photos? Happy Thanksgiving from the Quinns!

Face painting time 
 



The sun peeks out amidst the clouds and highlight the rooftops below. Cold air greets my outward stare but what I see warms my soul. (View from our home, Prishtina/Kosovo) 
Time with friends
Baby #4 growing strong and loved
Enjoying dad



Sunday, June 1, 2014

Season of Change

Change. So many feelings come attached to this word. And as we actually experience it - these feelings ebb and flow. Change. I think of a roller coaster when I think of that word. Because excitement comes with it. Fear of the drops or "valleys" shall I say definitely come with it. Taking a breath as the ride plateaus for a break also comes with it. Grief when the ride is ended and the desire for more can also come with it. Or sheer terror at possibly going through it again can also accompany this word. So many feelings. And yet when I look back at these last few years, change has been one of my most constant companions. Our newest change has been arriving here in Kosovo. I can say that one of the most constant emotions on this chapter in our life as a family has been God's tender love for us. We are constantly being encouraged and provided for and loved on. There is hard but there is also good. There is bitter but there is also a lot of sweet. I thought I'd share some pictures on this journey to give you a glimpse of this new change that is happening around us.


A view from our balcony
Ok one more view from our balcony
Hugh helping mama vacuum our blue kitchen carpet 

Our first team dinner  and meeting - which included my grandma Mary's picadillo recipe. Yum!


Walking to my friend's house. Can you tell on my face I'm hoping I remember which street to turn onto. This was right before my head almost collided with a flying soccer ball.
As you can see I didn't get lost and was able to go to my friend's plays script reading. Such a fun evening and met more wonderful people
Huge answer to prayer! Our local friend's dad went with Gino and our team to a car sale area that our city has on Sundays. What a blessing and answer to pray. We have a van that we can use and that our team can use. So when you want to visit - here's what you will ride in.
I end with another answered prayer. With no netflix and hardly any TV our kids are growing a lot closer as well. Learning to get along in closer spaces and leaning on one another. Kayleigh especially loves her big brother. Whoever marries her one day has big shoes to fill as far as she's concerned.

While change is hard and there are times when we miss friends, miss family, miss what's comfortable, I hope we all can be encouraged and recognize the good and the sweet and celebrate each victory no matter how small....like getting a van, during these seasons of change in each of our lives.

Thursday, December 12, 2013

O Christmas Tree, O Christmas Tree


Lately I have been totally drawn to the lyrical content of hymns. Specifically hymns written by Charles Wesley. After hearing "Come Thou Long Expected Jesus" this month and actually listening to the lyrics, I have to say that is probably one of my favorite Christmas songs.

Anyways, I was reading through a few of his hymns this morning, and there was one that stuck out quite powerfully this morning. Here is the Hymn: (I've boldened the parts I'm focusing on):

Lamb of God Whose Bleeding Heart - by Charles Wesley

1 LAMB of God, whose bleeding love We now recall to mind, Send the answer from above, And let us mercy find; Think on us, who think on thee; And every struggling soul release; O remember Calvary, And bid us go in peace!

2 By thine agonizing pain And bloody sweat, we pray, By thy dying love to man, Take all our sins away: Burst our bonds, and set us free; From all iniquity release; O remember Calvary, And bid us go in peace!

3 Let thy blood, by faith applied, The sinner's pardon seal; Speak us freely justified, And all our sickness heal; By thy passion on the tree, Let all our griefs and troubles cease; O remember Calvary, And bid us go in peace!

4 Never will we hence depart, Till thou our wants relieve, Write forgiveness on our heart, And all thine image give! Still our souls shall cry to thee, Till perfected in holiness; O remember Calvary, And bid us go in peace!

There is a famous Christmas song "O Christmas tree". Here is one of it's verses:
O Christmas Tree, O Christmas tree,
Your beauty green will teach me
That hope and love will ever be
The way to joy and peace for me.
O Christmas Tree, O Christmas tree,
Your beauty green will teach me



I don't know about you but one of my favorite things about Christmas is all the decorations and especially the "piece de resistance" - the Christmas tree. I love the lights, the sparkles, the ornaments, the memories, the legacies and stories as many ornaments carry special meaning or are inherited. We often gather around to look at it, to admire it, to fill it with good things. I want to ask you to take time to remember another tree. It really does give me joy to look at the trees all decorated and at night when all the lights are off and only the lights on the tree burst through the dark, it really brings a serenity to my evening.

As I read this hymn, my thoughts turned to another tree. A red stained tree, a tree set up in a place for all people to stare at, to look at, to be focused on. A tree that wreaked of my sins. A tree that cried out with the world that their Creator was dying. A tree that held up the Lamb of God - who takes away the sins of the world. A tree that is so hard to look at because it cuts me deep. It humbles me. And yet if I take time to look at that tree - my Jesus - "By your passion on the tree - let all our griefs and troubles cease. O remember Calvary and bid us go in peace!". The Christmas Carol is kind of right. If I focus on a tree, the tree, my Saviors tree - it "teaches" me that "hope and love will ever be, the way to joy and peace for me."

So as I see the beautiful trees this season, my mind will now shift to another bright shining, gift giving, beautifully decorated tree. We may celebrate Jesus' birth the 25th but his birth represents far more than a babies cry. It represents my Lord's plan: "For God did not send His son into the world to condemn it, but to Save the world through Him."

I wrote this this morning and pray it blesses you as it blesses me. Let us take a moment as we look at those beautiful tree to think of another more Glorious tree.


Glorious red stained tree
The vision of you summons me
To look deep within my heart
To unbusy my life and instead impart
The truth of what my Savior planned
To unstain the world from the sins of man
All God's passions laid on that tree
To deliver thee, to deliver me
Born to die, my Jesus came
Lamb of God, born and slain
Now justified we can stand
Before our Savior at God's right hand
Shouldering my wretched sin
So God, in me, will only see Him
Pardoned, Redeemed, Saved am I
That's what I see when I take the time
To study that Glorious red stained tree
The vision of you summons me
and fills me with God's holy peace













Wednesday, November 20, 2013

Angels rejoice, tantrums come, love them even when it hurts......

This blog has good news, bad news (well for Gino and I anyways), and then more good news.

First, on a cold November evening, Thursday, the 7th - if you listened real hard or at least closed your eyes and envisioned it - angels were joining Gino and I in rejoicing over Sean deciding to be a believer in Jesus Christ. (Luke 15:7) After asking many questions and dealing with fears and nightmares (that's a whole other blog), and after hearing since he was 2 - precious songs he loves to make up to Jesus, it was time. It was time to ask him if he was ready to decide if he wanted to be friends with Jesus, if he believed he needed Jesus and if he wanted the gift of God's Holy Spirit to live in his heart and guide him through his journey here on earth. The awesome thing is in my heart and Gino's - we know without a doubt this is sincere. 4 years old - his child like faith astounds me. The prayers and words that come out of his mouth sometimes leave me in tears and speechless. And yet, he is still 4. It is our job to make sure this seed of faith remains cultivated, pruned, watered, cared for, so it will grow.

So the bad news (sort of)....well of course after this happened Sean has been tested all over the place. He still astounds me as he is gifted with honesty (for the most part). Yesterday we were walking back to the car after getting him his own Bible, (He's so excited and it glows in the dark so that is pure boy awesomeness. It made my heart sing when he asked to sleep with it), and I asked him why he was having such a hard time obeying. You know what he said, "Well mom, sometimes I just get tired of obeying." I had to smile a bit because that raw honesty is hard to find. Don't we all feel like that sometimes We just get tired of obeying.  He even told us early this week that he felt a burning in his tummy and felt the Holy Spirit tell him to stop doing something so he did. So there is this tug of war  - visible tug of war going on inside him.

Today of all days has been difficult and it's only 11:30am here. Why? Sean came in at 6:00 am to ask to brush his teeth, (yes I'm glad he has good hygiene ethics but really there's new toothpaste he wanted). After telling him to wait till after breakfast and to go back to bed, he decided he would disobey and also bring his baby brother in with him. Hugh then ate toothpaste from the trash (gag) and Sean found that hilarious which Hugh liked so he kept at it. Wrong choice! Well again Sean said he was tired of obeying. So he decided to tell his brother to put all their play dough into his teacup (with tea in it) and then proceeded to urge his brother to drink it. (I of course heard all this and walked in on them) Sean immediately chose to blame his brother. So he has been spending time cleaning every piece of play dough off the floor and is now spending time writing "Don't tell Hugh to disobey".  This is what you would call the pruning stage. While I love his honesty and would love to brush this off as 4 year old behavior I cannot. Not if I want him to understand that there's consequences to our actions even when forgiveness is in place. The verse in Proverbs 3:11-12 (also Hebrews 12:5-6) "My child, don't ignore it when the Lord disciplines you, and don't be discouraged when the Lord disciplines you, and don't be discouraged when he corrects you. For the Lord corrects those he loves, just as a father corrects a child in whom he delights."  Proverbs 13:24 "If you refuse to discipline your children, it proves you don't love them; if you love your children, you will be prompt to discipline them." 

 More good news. It wasn't till Sean asked me to explain why disciplining him means I love him that I understood God's reasoning for disciplining us. At times we see Him as a harsh God, as unmerciful. Just like Sean sees me right now. But as I explained that when I was little I had consequences and even now when I disobey I have consequences he understood. He didn't like it but he understood. See I am trying to show him that it is better to do what pleases God than to do whatever he wants. God says "If you love me then obey me." This is what brings God pleasure. What makes him smile. Just like when I obeyed my parents, it brought them smiles and pleasure and it showed them I trusted in their guidance. How often do I go my own way because I'm tired of obeying, because I'm not trusting in God's plans for me. And yet staying in God's will is for my benefit. Sean obeying me is for his benefit. It's teaching him to act kindly, gently, lovingly, etc. It teaches him that even when it's hard and tiring, that to do what is right is better. Consequences come in all forms. Sometimes it's us learning how to clean up our own mess, sometimes it's on our hands and knees scrubbing play dough off the ground, sometimes it's a swat, sometimes it's missing out on dessert, etc. The list goes on. It's my way of pruning him so he can grow and flourish. But it's humbling to me because I need to recognize this in my own life and see that my God is a good father who disciplines me because he loves me and wants me to flourish. He wants us all to live a life, a life abundantly. Not to wither and fade. Not to just be good to be good. He wants me to know I need him.

So it's pruning season in this household. I honestly hate it and now I realize God doesn't like it either. It hurts my heart and it often effects our day. I can't imagine what God must be thinking when I choose to disobey - how it hurts his heart and effects His plans. He may be Almighty God, who knows all - but just because He knows what we will choose doesn't mean it doesn't hurt his heart. He is the creator of feelings, he is the master of feelings. I often wonder if his agony and hurt is more than we can ever fathom. Just as his joy over our obedience can be only slightly seen through a parent-child relationships.

So today I am thankful that God is using this season of pruning, to prune my heart as well. That as I type this my little boy sitting next to me, is hugging me in the midst of tears and writing. That he knows in his heart I love him. God may I cling to you in the midst of my tears and when I go through pruning. May I always know in my heart....you love me.

Saturday, October 26, 2013

Albania

Gino is back home. Still getting adjusted to the time difference.  Here is a video put together by one of the team mates. We wanted to share this with all of you as well. God bless -

Sunday, October 13, 2013

A glimpse at Gino's last trip...

Gino has been working hard at getting the details on his last trip to Kosovo done which will be sent out to our team. It's long but it's detailed and will share about each place visited. (If you aren't part of our team and would like to be, feel free to contact us.) One of the teammates put this video together and we wanted to share it with those who wish to see a bit of what went on while they were there. Thanks to all who were praying for him and us while he was there.