Painted Prayer

Many times God will use a song or a passage in scripture or even a sermon to plant or burn an image in my mind. I cannot let it go at times. This week a song has been in my heart, actually it's been in my heart for a few weeks and I've been wanting to paint but haven't been able to. I've attached the song for those who'd like to hear it. It's called "Set a Fire" by Will Reagan and United Pursuit. I kept envisioning a ballet dancer dressed in a costume that looked like swirls of fire and dancing in a way that looked like fire was bursting around her. I was finally able to sit down and paint today. I call my paintings "painted prayers" because honestly I'm praying these songs, scriptures, and sermons over myself, family, and others depending on the picture. In this painting the dancer is holding onto what looks like ribbon. It's to represent the holy spirit pouring out from her. It's floating a bit wildly and slightly out of her control. I hope and pray that I live madly in love with my Savior. A love that lights all around me - to a point that it's uncontainable or uncontrollable. I hope this painted prayer will encourage you and make you smile and say "I want more of you God, I want more of you God." - Love Laura

One Wish...

2 Corinthians 5:17 "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old things have passed away and everything is NEW."

Romans 12:2 "Do no be conformed to this present world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may test and approve what is the will of God - what is good and well -pleasing and perfect."

I wanted to share with all of you what God has been doing in my life personally these past 6 months.  God has been transforming me and changing me and stretching me and challenging me in ways I would never have even fathomed or thought possible years ago. I am learning that God can use us in so many different ways. And every day, every week, every month, every year - can and will look different when you make yourself available to His will for your life. What do I mean? God has taken this terribly shy, fearful, homebody, introvert - and just turned me upside down. And I am saying "this is good". This is hard, but this is good. I could tell you 6 months ago that you were crazy if you thought I'd be called an artist or painter. I'd have called you insane if you thought I'd make an good Sunday school teacher and would turn down singing in church because really my passion was now to teach 6-11 year olds. I would say you were crazy if you told me I'd look forward to every Sunday being with those kids and digging into God word. I would have said you were crazy if you told me I would commit to doing street evangelism in my community - let alone willing to even think about doing it. And yet here I am about to share about a specific challenge God brought before me and I'm so glad he did. 

A few weeks ago Gino came home from his early Friday morning prayer group and said that Richard Sharp (he is part of OM) was going to have a booth at our Founder's Day Carnival.  My neighbor thought of me and wanted to know if I'd be a part of her group. They were going to be doing his "One Wish" outreach. What is "One Wish" you say. Well I'm glad you asked. This is an amazing foundational tool that Richard Sharp has created throughout years of doing street evangelism. This man and his sweet wife Rachel love the Lord so much. They genuinely love people and want them to have a friendship with God. They care - you can hear it in their voices when they talk to you. You basically ask a stranger a question and then use a bracelet, if they allow you to, to explain God's wish for their life. There's more but pause so I can give you my dilemma. 

I am very shy. Approaching strangers is a nightmare for me. I stumble over my words, I worry how will I look to them, will they hear me, will they think I'm crazy. As you can see, it's a very "me" centered type fear. Well I think I looked wide eyed at Gino and said "what?!?" a few times to him. He kindly assured me he hadn't committed to it for me. To which I replied - I will pray about it. A knot had already formed in my stomach. I also had a shouting match with God in my head because Gino had been so excited when he originally heard about this and was even wanting to blog about it and share it with our churches back home to see if they'd want some of the bracelets and tracts. I remember saying "What the heck!!! Lord you know Gino was so excited about this. Why in the world am I being asked to do this? Why?????" Surely you don't want me to do this right? Right?" - As I wrestled with this over the weekend, while the kids were playing out front I ran into Penny my neighbor. She asked about what I thought and I told her I'd pray about it but I was scared because I tend to stress out on what to say after "Hi, how are you?". She laughed and said "well that gives the Holy Spirit room to speak and lead us." That stayed with me. Also as I journaled if I should do it - the song "I'm not ashamed of the gospel" by Hillsong popped into my head over and over again." I knew in my heart from the beginning God wanted me to do this. If I was too afraid to say yes - then I'm ashamed of my God. There is a serious problem if I am ashamed of my God.  So I told Gino - I'm suppose to say yes. There's nothing to pray about anymore. I'm going to say yes. I had peace about it until the day of. I kept praying that God would just open my mouth to speak like he did for the prophets Isaiah and Jeremiah. I prayed that the Holy Spirit would give me courage and a voice because I felt I was like Moses.  I am not skilled in speech Lord. 

So Friday night came and I went. It was for an hour as there were many who volunteered to work in shifts. So now I will return to what the point of what this event was about. "One Wish". We were to approach people (I was paired with Penny) wearing our One Wish T-shirt and One wish bracelet. We were to ask them, "Have you been asked the One wish question." If they were interested we'd ask them. "If you could have 1 wish from God for you today, what would it be?" Depending on the answer we would ask them if we could say a 1 sentence prayer just asking God to help their wish come true. We then would ask them if they knew that God has 1 wish for them? We then would ask them if we could quickly show them on our bracelet which had 4 pictures - what God's wish for them was.  I will not go through everything but if you want to learn more - please let us know. This is something that you can use anywhere. Richard and his wife have used this at airports, getting a haircut, friends, family, talking to someone in line or at checkout, etc. It's such an awesome tool that you can use. Such a sincere question. You can also look at www.onewish4u.com to learn more. 

So I was scared. But Richard Sharp said "you're scared, I'm scared, let's all be scared together." Gino also reminded me gently "Laura just remember why you are doing this. This is all for the love of people. You love them, you want them to be aware of God's hope and love." I still could barely eat but it helped. So I went.  I realized as we were there that God was giving me training. He allowed me to pray with 2 women. Both said they were Christians but they let us into their lives. They got to a point where they shared with us and we were able to pray for them. One was very reserved especially but by the end she and I were chatting and talking about kids and she allowed me to pray for her teenage son to make wise choices because she was nervous about leaving him alone the carnival. I was terrified about approaching people but I could see God had surrounded me with such an amazing group of women and he was showing me how to do this. How to be genuine, how to love strangers. I feel like God said "My daughter you are being trained. You thought I was going to use you to speak into someone's life but I am hear to speak into yours. Learn from these godly men and women." It was an amazing night and honestly I felt like the time went by so quick. I had an urge to keep doing this. Who am I? Who is this girl I see in the mirror. Who is the person I've become? Well, as we drove home the ladies were saying how we should keep doing this, keep practicing this so that this becomes part of us. We decided to try to do this once a month. And I said yes without hesitation. What? Lord you have transformed me because a couple weeks ago - I would have avoided my neighbor and hid in the closet. What mighty powers our God has. So God willing, November 1st will be our 2nd outing as a group and I pray that God will give me the strength to approach at least 1 person. The night I went there - 2 people for sure decided to accept God's hand of Friendship. To be a part of that event was so encouraging to me. I know God has his reasons for taking me there. I'm so glad He did. 

I wanted to thank our ministry team and to encourage them that we are being given opportunities to reach not only across the world but also in our own backyard. Thank you for being a part of this. Please be praying for the people who came across us that weekend. Pray that the seeds planted grow. Pray that those who did accept God's hand of friendship will get plugged into a good church and get into God's word. Pray that God will give me boldness in times when I'm scared. Pray that I get an opportunity to talk to even just 1 person through God's 1 wish for them. Pray for Richard Sharp's ministry to grow. This is such an awesome thing he is doing. He has used this all over the world. Jesus will always use us in different ways but when it comes to sharing God's hope - this is such a great place to start.

Let us all allow you to transform us God. Help me lay aside pride and my own agenda and instead seek first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness. May we all be allowed to impact this world for your glory and to help lead others into an eternal friendship with you. Amen.

Eternal Tree

This is a bit late as I painted this a couple weeks ago but I have been waiting for words to put to this picture. Well today God finally gave me the words. The painting is based primarily on Galatians 5:22-23 "When the Holy Spirit controls our lives, He will produce this kind of fruit in us: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Here there is no conflict with the law." and I just read today Psalms 92:12-14 "But the godly will flourish like palm trees and grow strong like the cedars of Lebanon. For they are transplanted to the Lord's own house. They flourish in the courts of our God. Even in old age they still produce fruit, they will remain vital and green." I read Psalms 92 after I wrote the words to this picture so I can tell you that all of this was definitely inspired NOT by myself. I drew this painting after the Bible study I went to came to an end. We had studied the fruits of the spirit and how they apply to everyday living. A different picture came to my mind and I was picturing a tree with roots stretching and intertwining with one another. I saw how: as I read God's word, spend time with him, talk to him, pray to him and thank Him for what He is doing in my life - that these spiritual qualities grow. My patience with my children miraculously grows, my desire to be kind and help others and not sit on the couch because I'm tired grows, I pictured these strong roots growing beneath the pillar. And I envisioned a full tree blooming and could see that Paul was right in 1 Corinthians 13. Love is what remains. The harvest is love. Because to love well - we need all the qualities of the Holy Spirit - at least I know I do. Without Him I wither and become dry. I hope this picture and poem encourages you as God has encouraged me through the process and also reminded me to grow - grow my roots deep. May we ever flourish, even in old age, may we remain vital and green. Amen

Poems and Paintings

I'm not sure how many know but I am a bookworm, I am a journaler. I have always loved to write, not just write anything but write to God and about God. Oh the therapy sessions my journal has brought me. But that's a whole other blog post that I probably won't write. Anyways, poems and lyrics from songs have also been passions of mine. I've always loved to write and often I have found that as I got busy with life, even as a teenager, I was good at suffocating that passion out. I put very little weight on it. And there were years where I didn't write and also didn't even hum a song. Desert years they call them. But as I've had time, lots of time especially while Gino has been on trips, God's Holy Spirit has stirred in me those passions again as well as semi-new ones. I used to love to draw, although I quickly stopped or would hide my work, as I often compared myself to others. But lately when I read His word, or do the women's bible study I'm doing. or hear a song, or hear a sermon, or hear about a friend suffering - a picture comes to my mind. I fought it for awhile, journaling about these pictures instead, trying to remember the details when it hit me. I needed to paint. I needed to paint these pictures out. So while Gino was away I did my first two (believe it or not with crayon and crayola paint). I laughed because I thought of my Jr. Highers that I used to make paint and I thought, "they could do way better than I just did." But I also smiled because the picture in my head was finally on paper. Maybe not as refined as I pictured it but it was there. I am going to share the last two paintings I've done as God gave me words to these painting and I hope and pray they encourage someone, uplift someone, breathe fresh air on someone, not because I am a fantastic poet or artist, but because God can use our meek offerings and turn them into blazing fires. He can take our scribbles and fill them with hope, encouragement and life.  I pray this is the case. Love - Laura

Painting #1 - Dancers Prayer

Painting #2 - Push Forward Through

I am...

Earlier this week I had been doing my Bible study when I was struck with a concept I never thought of before. The trinity - such a complicated term. So many examples have been given. The reason it stuck with me is my son was also asking earlier about God and how Jesus is God and God is God. ( I used water as an example - liquid,vapor,ice - still water in the end) I asked him if he understood and he said, "do I say yes???" Umm, only if you get is Sean. I see my need to be reading God's word everyday through my kids because this is deep and I find that kids ask the deepest questions and I pray God guides my every answer. I've been meaning to share this but our wireless has been down for 2 weeks and I couldn't really see myself typing this all out on my phone. So now that Internet is up and running, my kids are in bed, I have a little quiet time to put this thought down. Here we go:

As I read Colossians 1:15-17 a picture in my mind started forming. Here are the verses: "Christ is the visible image of the invisible God. He existed before God made anything at all and is supreme over all creation.  He made the things we can see and the things we can't see - kings, kingdoms, rulers, and authorities.  Everything has been created through him and for him.  He existed before everything else began and he holds all creation together."

CHRIST IS THE VISIBLE IMAGE OF GOD....hmmm. So while it doesn't mention the Holy spirit this just stirred in me a desire to really understand the trinity. Jesus is God, God the Father is God and the Holy Spirit is God. They are 3 in 1. They ARE. I have read commentaries, heard teachers explain using the 3 in 1 visual aspects of water, an apple, an egg, etc. And while those helped me, I wanted something more. So as I prayed:

This made me think of Matthew 3: 16-17 "After his baptism, as Jesus came up out of the water, the heavens were opened and he saw the Spirit of God descending like a dove and setting on him.  And a voice from heaven said, "This is my beloved Son, and I am fully pleased with him."

So I prayed more - God how do I explain this to my children. How do I explain who you are. Exodus 3:14 "God replied, "I AM THE ONE WHO ALWAYS IS" (other translations: I am who I am or I will be what I will be), Just tell them, I AM has sent me to you.

I am no theologian. But a picture came to my mind of a woman with people coming and going in her life. From there a poem emerged and I thought I'd share. (This could apply to guys too by the way but I'm a girl so that's why I thought of this first):

I AM:
I am me
A daughter but that is just a part of me because I grew up to be
a wife
I am Me
A wife but that is just a part of me because I am now a mother
I am me
All 3 are the makeup of who
I am.

Now while the trinity always existed I thought of the Hebrew people. For years they interacted and knew of God the Father. Almighty God. When Jesus came they were introduced to a part of God they had never seen before. He was fully man yet fully God. He and the Father are one. The Hebrews that understood this got to experience a new part of God they never knew before (and we still get to now!).  Then when Jesus left the Holy Spirit was promised and given to us so that we would have God's spirit to guide us, transform us, comfort us, and seal us. The disciples got to again experience a new part of God they did not have full access too until Pentecost. So how does my poem fit into this. Well here is where I see an analogy: a person can know me as a child and then leave my life. They come back years later and I'm married. I'm not the same person they knew and yet that part of me still exists. There is a new part of me they must now get to know.  If they leave again and come back years later and I'm a mom, there is now another new side of me they must get to know. This led me to write this:

I AM:

I am
God who was, who is and will always be
I am
Christ the visible image of God
who shed my blood to set free all who believe and leave
I am the Holy spirit who stays and guides you with wisdom
and peace
All 3 are the makeup of who
I AM

I'm not sure if this will offend or encourage or help but I hope that one day I can explain this as close to the truth as possible and that the Holy Spirit will fill in the rest to my children. May we all be given deeper glimpses into our Mighty, complex, deep loving, tender God.

I AM
Those who saw me as Creator and worshipped me at the altar - I AM
I AM also the Son of God who offers more than just redeeming love
I AM the Holy Spirit residing within those who believe
And all these different parts of me make up what you call the Trinity
But in the end its much more simple : I AM WHO I AM.

May we worship and love all that you are.

God bless.

Everyday Chatter

As I was driving my kids home from picking berries (which was very fun till my oldest decided to give me attitude as if he was 14 and not 4), I was not looking forward to driving to the grocery store to run errands. I almost put on some music to kind of muffle the chatter that goes on in those back seats and give my ears and mind a bit of a break, but then my oldest asks if he can please earn a prize for knowing his Bible verse. I explained he needed to say it all the way and that he also needed to tell his dad. I also told him I was surprised he was asking this as we just had a spank and juice taken away for a week (he picked those punishments out by the way - I was gonna go for taking a toy away for a day but he kept pressing for a punishment and then proceeded to tell me he was going to pick it.) So I let him win that battle - sort of.

 Anyways in the ladies Bible study I joined we are going through a Beth Moore series that talks about the Holy Spirit. I'm loving it as one of the verses I mention constantly to my kids is Galations 5:22-23. I have to say, though, as I'm going through this study God has decided I need to better my character.  And this week has been a stretcher for me with my kiddos, especially  my eldest. I'm so glad God is at least making it clear to me that I'm being stretched because it has helped me to pray, even as my son has told me quite a few times this week that he likes dad better than me - to just smile and say "I know Sean, I know." Because if it was me - I would have been laying on the guilt trip or would have felt like the worse mom ever!

So again back to me driving to the store with my kids. Sean began trying to say his memory verse earnestly. It's 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 by the way : "Love is patient, love is kind. Love is not jealous, or boastful, or proud or rude. It does not demand it's own way, it is not irritable. It keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice over evil but rejoices with the truth. Love never gives us, love never loses faith, it always hopes, and endures through every circumstance."  He wants to earn a wallet and so I'm making sure it's earned (hey wallets are expensive and he wants one that will last till he's an adult he says). Anyways he said it pretty perfect and he said, "I should keep saying it over and over and then I won't forget it." I said he was right and that it's good to practice it so he can tell his dad. So he began practicing it and I could hear that he'd mix up the phrases or sentences and stop himself. He kept stumbling so I tried to help by saying it along with him. Well he told me quite adamantly that I needed to let him do this by himself. So rolled my eyes (he couldn't see that by way) and closed my mouth. He again proceeded and began to stumble again and started to get angry. And then this kid melted me. He stopped and said aloud, "Dear Jesus please help me have self-control. In Jesus name I pray Amen." Then he started to practice again.

Chatter - beautiful heart melting chatter. A sweet simple prayer from my son's lips. Rather than ask me he went to God for help. Rather than give into his anger, he asked God to give him self-control. (I guess he was paying attention this week as I would pray aloud some times "Lord give me patience!!") But as I drove on in silence letting my son practice - tears filled my eyes and I praised God in my heart saying, "Lord thank you for showing me that you are real to my son. Please keep him dependent on you. Please help me to be more like him - May I go to you first when I struggle. May I remember to stop what I'm doing and just give it to you. Lord thank you that my son knew at that moment that you would give him that self-control. May my faith be ever more child-like Jesus."

Daddy

I do not think that what I say may be seen as profound to many but today God spoke to my heart and I felt led to share. Today was a tough day for my Sean boy. Today videos of his father did not cut it. Today he cried this morning because he wanted to snuggle with his daddy. Today he prayed God would bring his daddy home soon. Today he cried at night because I didn't read the Bible like his daddy did and he wanted his daddy again. Tonight the videos brought a small smile to his face as he talked back to his dad. I left him with a photo album which he was looking at as I closed their door.

So what is this epiphany that came to me? I was praying this morning after Sean cried that God would comfort my son and my heart also smiled knowing how much my son loves his daddy. Kayleigh also stated this week she missed her daddy and made me send a video of her singing to him. They miss him, they smile at the videos he made and talk back to him. They light up when they see his face. They know they are loved by their Father and they love him back.

I was convicted at that thought. Do I long for my Father in heaven like my son longs for his daddy? Do I get moved to tears wishing I could just hug him or hold on to him. Do I feel unsatisfied with just hearing and reading about my Father. Do I long to just run up to him wildly and smother him with love?

I have to say that for most of my life - I never really thought about it. I mean I never thought to miss my Lord. I never thought to long to see Him so I could love him. I always focused on my limited understanding of what would end here if I went there. God has suddenly filled me with a love for him that brings me to tears when I read his word at times, that makes me smile in the early morning when I'm alone and say good morning to Him. I am finally seeing him as my daddy. And my daddy deserves my love. A love like Sean has for Gino. And so today I am sharing this because it's my prayer that we all will love our God passionately and fiercely like a child loves their father. Like a child who is loved well by their Father. Because our God in heaven loves us like no one ever can or ever will. May I love you well Jesus - to the point that I miss you everyday and long to see your face.

Psalms 84 ( a portion of it:) "How lovely is you dwelling place, O lord Almighty. For my soul longs and even faints for you. With my whole being, body and soul, I will shout joyfully to the living God.  Even the sparrow finds a home there, and the swallow builds her nest and raises her young - at a place near our altar, O Lord Almighty, my King and my God. How happy are those who can live in your house, always singing your praises....A single day in your courts is better than a thousand elsewhere. "